Why people have affairs?
Chat about a loaded subject that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on from the beginning of the world. Extramarital affairs can be fraught with evils, cause sadness, and other problems. Also you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty thing, money, age dissimilarity, religious education, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I shall identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married woman date.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are man seeking woman for affair. I am conserned mostly though it is just the human nature, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and fun, and sex makes us flee the world for a short period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can switch the craving on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos culture has erected against married dating. For many people the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but the public also. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is very good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not wound your spouse or anyone else? You would need to minimize the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major grouping, gigantic in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they are comfy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to consider. Your assets are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An affair at times solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sadly this is a common cause I fear. One or the other, as a rule the guy is sexually neglecting his spouse for a tones of reasons. As a male I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us males of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe caring is not here, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply grown separately, our general interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is diverce of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.